The Taste of Loneliness
by Lil'Conqueror
Summary: Rukia Kuchiki had never given much thought about her eldest brother actually betraying her. So when he finally does, she can't help but feel a certain despair through it all. It has to be some misunderstanding, right?


**A/N: **I was actually torn between a couple different story title's for this fic, it was hard to choose which one fit more perfectly. But alas, we have a winner. Haha. Anyways, this is set somewhere in the Zanpakutō Rebellion when Byakuya destroy's Rukia's Zanpakutō, Sode no Shirayuki. Basically, it's my take on what should have happend so to speak. l: ARGH. I LOVE THEIR BROTHER/SISTER RELATIONSHIP. -ahem- Enjoy. :)

**Summary: **Rukia Kuchiki had never given much thought about her eldest brother actually betraying her. So when he finally does, she can't help but feel a certain despair through it all. It has to be some misunderstanding, right?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach. l:

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><p>Rukia Kuchiki was only half-aware of the massive amounts of reiatsu flaring alive all around her. The Zanpakutō Rebellion still very much in affect, mixed with the emotions of hatred and sorrow but with a deep desire to overcome their Master's in hope they might actually be filled with some sort of peace. But Muramasa's plan was flawed if anything. Well she, herself, wasn't entirely sure what the hell was going on to make all their Zanpakutō lash out so horribly, but something wasn't sitting right.<p>

Yes, she still wasn't in any shape to be moving around so recklessly, but she couldn't find it in herself to stop. She couldn't sit idly by whilst the Seireitei was in complete chaos. And moreover, whilst Sode no Shirayuki was in the clutches of someone who was blinding not only her, but all of the Zanpakutō. It left a bad taste in her mouth. Also, she couldn't just do nothing. Not whilst everyone else was risking their lives to save whatever was left of the Seireitei and just the Soul Society in general. People were dying and all the fourth division could tell her to do was to _take it_ _easy_.

Rukia hissed under her breath and ignored the way her body protested as she pushed herself to the limit.

She couldn't stand by the side lines whilst everyone was fighting. She wouldn't.

Abruptly, a more powerful, more distinguished reiatsu flared to life and had her momentarily stunned by the intensity of it before blinking slowly at the familiarity.

"Nii-sama." She murmured, as if in deep thought. Her heart was beating erractically within the confinds of her rib cage.

Through this entire ordeal, Byakuya had defected from the thirteen court guard squads and was now mixed in with the Zanpakutō Rebellion. Rukia shook her head vigorously. It didn't make any sense. Why would her brother do such a thing? He was the most loyal Soul Reaper there was. (Or so she thought) But it made sense, didn't it? When they pegged herself of being a tratior to the Soul Society for lending Ichigo her powers back in the World of the Living, he was one of the two who was sent to retreive her.

Rukia grimanced silently.

That wasn't correct. No, Byakuya had _willingly _suggested that he go to collect her along with Renji. (Or so she later found out)

The reiastu darkend slightly, but she was in too much of a deep thought to notice. That is, until a distant tone rang through her ears.

"Rukia."

Wrenching her head up, she stared shell-shocked at the unfamiliar figure in front of her.

She couldn't tell because of the mask he wore, but she was certain he was regarding her thoughtfully, although his stance was impassive if anything.

"Who are you?" She found herself whispering weakly and she forced herself to glare. Mentally kicking herself for her tone.

He inclined his head. "That's right. You have never seen me in this form, have you?"

Though the sentence was to be correctly used as a question, it hardly sounded like it.

"I am Senbonzakura."

Her eyes widend considerably. "You're nii-sama's Zanpakutō!"

She could practically feel his smirk on her.

"It seems your _nii-sama _hasn't been all that loyal to his beloved_ imouto_." He stated, his tone indifferent, yet held the faint trace of curiousity. And she momentarily wondered why.

She swallowed thickly before speaking oncemore.

"Where is he?"

"Hm?"

By now she could sense he was toying with her. If this was Byakuya's Zanpakutō like he so claimed to be, why was he messing with her? She was nearly positive her brother never did that to her. . . right? Wasn't a person's Zanpakutō supposed to be in some sort of contrast to their Master? Or perhaps she was reading too much into this. Whatever the case, it didn't feel right. Almost foreign somehow.

"Where is nii-sama?" She hissed, glaring heatedly at the distant figure.

He raised a questioning brow at her. "You wish to know where your traitor of a brother is?" He inquiried thoughtfully, taking a step towards her. "Have you not realized what he has done?"

Rukia glowered distastefully at Senbonzakura. Of course she knew that her brother defected from the Soul Society. _Everyone _knew, it wasn't necessarily a secret anymore. Abruptly, he began to chuckle.

"You havn't felt it yet?"

She wasn't sure what he was going on about, but he was slowly starting to piss her off. When he took another step in her direction, her hand immediately went to the hilt of her Zanpakutō at her waist out of instinct.

And immediately, she froze at the contact. Something was off.

_'Sode no Shirayuki.' _She inwardly thought with worry.

His smirked widned behind his mask before he flashed in front of her and stared her down coolly.

"Your _nii-sama _has betrayed you, girl." He tsked under his breath, reaching for his own sword at his hip. "He destroyed your Sode no Shirayuki without even batting an eye."

Her world instantly felt like it was crumbling around her.

Distantly, she felt a familiar reiastu overtake her senses behind her and she visibly flinched.

"Senbonzakura." The hard tone that was her brother clashed against her ear drums and her heart began to beat even faster.

Said Zanpakutō shrugged casually as he disappeared and reappeared further away from them.

"I am merely enlightening your imouto on her current predicament, nothing more."

Byakuya gave him a stern look. "Leave."

Instinctively, Rukia almost felt herself move on command, but stopped herself when she realized he wasn't talking to her. Was she always this obediant when it came to the elder Kuchiki? Her mind conjured up the thoughts of how pathetic she truly was.

_'Like a lap dog.' _She thought with utter disgust.

Senbonzakura stared impassively at his former Master and his sister, before muttering something about how he'll be close by if anything should occur and left without another word.

It was silent after that for a long several moments. It was torture on her part, and the tension nearly made her lightheaded with the truth floating above her head.

She figured it needed to be addressed aloud. She couldn't believe it, but it had to be spoken.

"Tell me it's not true, nii-sama. . ."

Her tone sounded weak and low to her own ears, but she waited for him to reply.

After another moment wasted with silence, Rukia grew agitated and spun on her heel to glare fiercely at her brother.

"Answer me, _Byakuya_!"

He should realize that shit just got real, since she through his name in his face with such rage and carelessness. (Even if it did seem like he had severed his bonds with the Soul Society)

Although he didn't correct her, he did, however, narrow his eyes dangerously at her. He was still much stronger than she was, and even more so now than ever. Even if he could sympathize with her anger directed at him for what he had done, he shouldn't have to remind her to watch who she spoke so carelessly to. He still had her one-uped.

Rukia's temper now gone to shit, she dashed in front of him and gripped the front of his clothing.

"_What did you do to Sode no Shirayuki?_" She spat viciously, angry tears cascading down her slightly flushed cheeks.

He gave her a look before speaking, "_He_ already told you."

He as in Senbonzakura. But it wasn't good enough.

"_I want to hear you say it._"

She didn't know why she needed that, but the words were out before she could process them and she waited almost impatiently for him to respond.

The words he spoke were whispered slowly and deliberately, so she could understand them without having to be repeated. (Even if she already knew)

"I killed Sode no Shirayuki." He deadpanned, his expression aloof.

Rukia's heart broke at the sight as she repeated, "You killed Sode no Shirayuki. . ." The weight of his words were suffocating her and she nearly felt herself giving way to hyperventilation. She had heard that if another Soul Reaper killed a Zanpakutō that wasn't their own-

She couldn't even finish the thought.

"Y-Y-You _broke _h-her." She stuttered as her knees buckled underneath her, but just before she hit the dirt, a pair of vaguely familiar arms encricled her and supported her blunt weight. "I-I can't f-f-feel her anymore. . ."

"Sode no Shirayu-" She trailed off, her voice cracking as her gaze blurred with the amount of tears in her eyes.

She began to sob silently. "W-Why would you do that, Byakuya. . ."

He wouldn't ever mention it, but something inside him twisted painfully at the lack of proper brotherly suffix. And it twisted even more when he realized he had caused Rukia her pain. True, everything she had accused him off thus far was correct and he truly did deserve everything she through at him, but he wasn't an emotionless prick, he still felt things without everyone aware of it. But he was careful in placing his indifferent mask on his face.

He looked her over indifferently. "You may not know this Rukia, but regardless on what side I am positioned on on the battlefield, my protection over my _pride _will always come first. Whoever gets in the way of that shall be cut down."

Her eyes widend only fractionally as reality finally set in and Byakuya watched with only minimal interest as a different set of emotions flashed across her face. First confusion, then shock and horror, hurt and then finally, resolution.

Whatever she was resolved about, Byakuya could only assume she misunderstood his meaning.

Forcing her way out of his arms, she fell back onto the ground with a soft thud. Shakily, she tried to stand and continued to avoid his calculating gaze.

"I-I see." She whispered, swallowing down the lump in her throat. "Forgive me, nii- Byakuya."

Inwardly, he winced.

"For?" He asked, his tone lacking any specific emotion. (Any caring one, aleast)

Oddly enough, she smiled up at him, though it was false and looked entirely too wrong on her for his taste.

"For making me finally see that you cannot be anything even remotely close to my brother and only my Captin." Muttering afterwards along the lines of 'regardless of my adoption into your family'.

Another twist of pain on his insides.

"I apologize for placing my trust and adoration into you."

Her smile instantly dropped and was replaced with a cold and angry scowl.

He thought back on her words. She adored him. . . Even though it was fairly obvious beforehand how she acted around him, it still made him swell with a little pride for it to be spoken aloud. But now. . .

She continued, "You're nothing more than my enemy and I'm sure Headmaster Yamamoto-sama would want you to be classified as such after this act."

Byakuya gave her a warning look, his tone low and even, yet almost challenging. "Do you wish to fight me?" He rose an elegant brow. "Need I remind you, you do not have a weapon anymore."

He knew she tried to cover up the momentary weakness that flashed upon her face briefly, but he caught it just before it vanished. He had struck another nerve.

He could see the defiance in her expression, her stance she took upon and he realized with a certain clarity, that she would fight him without it. She would use every kido she had learned in her time in the Academy against him if that's what it took, but they both knew it wouldn't work.

She couldn't beat him with her Zanpakutō and she doesn't stand a chance without it.

He looked at her from beneath his lashes. "Do you hate me now? Knowing I destroyed the one thing every Soul Reaper holds dear."

He could see her inner turmoil and could practically feel her wanting to drop her guard and fall to pieces, but her pride wouldn't allow that. It made him swell with a certain amount of respect for his imouto.

"Hate you?" She repeated, the word foreign on her tongue.

Did she hate him? He did destory Sode no Shirayuki. . . But, even though her feelings should be a mix of hatred and rage, she could only feel sorrow and self-pity for the Zanpakutō she failed to protect. It was all directed at herself, not her brother.

But, why?

He was giving her every reason to loathe him, but yet, she just couldn't. And she didn't have an answer for that.

Abruptly, Rukia dropped her guard and gave him a pleading and defeated look.

"Kill me, nii-sama."

Just the words alone froze Byakuya's heart on the spot, his own guard slipping easily as he assessed her in surprise. Had she just asked him to-

"You wish for me to kill you?" He repeated, his tone uncertain if he had heard her correctly.

But her brief bob of the head alone was confirmation enough.

"You said it so yourself. The Zanpakutō of every Soul Reaper is precious." She explained, inclincing her head and gesturing towards his own sword at his hip. "You asked me if I hate you. . . And since I cannot bring myself to do so, I have nothing left to live for. So, kill me. Your _Master _wants to do away with the Soul Society anyway. You'll only be doing him a favor." She finished, staring at him now expressionless.

Byakuya felt torn immediately. Not that he had any thought of taking his sister's life, but just the thought of her asking it of him. . . He didn't understand why she was doing this. Yes, it was certainly true that a Soul Reaper shouldn't kill another's Zanpakutō, because it simply _breaks _and isn't properly released. But it wasn't an impossible feat to replace said Zanpakutō. But Rukia was probably referring to the fact that even though the blade could be reforged, no amount of fourth division healer's or blacksmith's could fix the damage he had caused mentally.

He didn't realize just how deeply Rukia had thought of him before all of this had transpired.

Using his flash step, he maneuvered around her body to stand behind her. His lips at her ear, he inhaled slowly. He faintly heard Rukia take in a sharp breath and ignored the way her heart beat seemed to increase with the close proximity.

A moment passed by in silence before he murmured, "Regardless of what you may believe Rukia, I have _always _carried out any request you have asked of me." He deadpanned, leaning in slightly closer. Her body went rigid but he continued as if he hadn't noticed, "I do not, however, regret to inform you that I simply cannot carry out _this _one."

"W-Why are you d-doing this, nii-sama. . . ?" She chocked and quietly, her form began to tremble.

He placed a hand on her shoulder gently, nuzzling her neck almost affectionately. Almost. He still had to remind himself where they were and what was currently going on around them. He couldn't afford for his plans to screw up now. He needed to carry out his mission and if his loved one got hurt in the process, so be it. In the end, his actions were justified.

"I told you," He breathed and he caught the way she slipped her tongue out and had wet her dry lips. "I am protecting my _pride_, and I will continue to do so for as long as I shall live."

She missed the emphazies on the word and how his voice grew slightly hoarse from the stress of it.

More moments passed with Byakuya nuzzling her neck quite hypontically, she could have dozed off. But suddenly, she felt a sharp pain against the back of her neck and her brother's final words as she drifted into unconciousness.

"You do not have to fight anymore, _imouto_." He murmured lowly, gathering her into his arms. "Your life is mine to cherish."

Hours later, she awoke in the same bed she was laying in before escaping from the fourth division barracks with an unavoidable taste of loneliness.

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><p>End.<p>

So, in case you're wondering what his 'pride' actually is, I'm hopefully correct in assuming it has to do with Rukia since I think I recall him mentioning something about it during his fight in Hueco Mundo when he found his sister unconsious from an Arrancar battle. Right? 0.o I'm pretty sure anyway. And when I was watching the Zanpakutō Rebellion, this idea came to mind and I found myself flying through this effortlessly. :) Argh. I love Byakuya and Rukia's relationship and how he always seems to be around to protect her and whatnot. AHH. Anyways, excuse any error's and I hope this is to everyone liking as it was to mine. :D

Also, this was a good way to get off my writer's block I've been having lately for my other fics. Hopefully I'll be back up with them in no time! xo Until next time. ~


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